"You're never going to find someone because your standards are too high." Ever heard that one? I have. More than once. I can see how it could be offensive to some girls, but personally it's never offended me. I guess one reason is because I haven't been looking for anyone anyway. Isn't it funny that people think that just because you're not dating that you're looking for someone? Last I checked 20 years old is still young, and yet, the other night at my cousin's wedding there were several people that were telling me I'm next in line for marriage. I'm not against it. Not like I once was. For years I said I would never marry, which is definitely (as I'm sure many people guessed) a way of trying to protect myself from getting hurt again. It's not something we like to talk about, but most of us have been through some kind of heartbreak-whether it's a break-up, or a loss much greater than that. They leave us wounded for a long time; probably forever if we never bring our whole self- heart, body and soul before the only One who is capable of healing the hurts that we never talk about. I have my own story. I know what it's like to stay in bed and cry all day long, and thinking you will never be okay again. I know how it feels to be out shopping and "our song" comes on the radio and barely being able to breathe because it still hurts so much. All those memories...they come rushing back at the most random times. And none of it seems fair or okay and you wonder why you can't seem to get over it. But let me tell you something, it's okay not to be okay. It's okay not to have it all together. Because the bible says, in Colossians 1:17; "He is before ALL things, and in Him ALL things hold together." He will hold you together when you feel like you're falling apart. Jesus is waiting with open arms for you to fall into and cry, telling Him every bit of how you're feeling. And even when you can't talk about it, He knows your heart, He sees every broken piece and He knows how to put it back together. I was there, never thinking I would be okay again. I tried for so long to hold it all together on my own and it didn't work. Things just got worse. Because as much as I wanted it to, I learned that time doesn't heal things, Jesus does. I had SO MANY people tell me that it would take a guy to love me with a Christ-centered love to heal the deep wounds in my heart. Don't ever believe that girls. Jesus is the ONLY one who can heal hearts. There is no relationship on earth that will heal the wounds in your heart, only Jesus can. It's not fair to any guy to expect him to love away the hurt you're feeling. So I made a promise to my Jesus, to fall in love with Him first, before anyone else. And I have never looked back. Not once. This love story is more beautiful than I could have imagined. He has redeemed and restored every broken piece of my heart and life. He has taken the mess I made of my life and given me a testimony of His faithfulness. I gave Him the pen to write my life-story. Whatever that looks like. Only He knows. And because I am so in love with Him I trust that He always has my best interests at heart. Lamentations 3:24 says; I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." He is enough. Give Him your heart and let Him heal it, before you try giving it away to anyone else, let Him be your first love. I share this, not as a cry for sympathy, but as a sister who has been there. I know how it hurts. And I remember wondering how this could be God's plan for my life, and He said; "I allowed your heart to be broken to make it more like Mine." Jesus came and bled and died for us, He cried for us, He allowed His heart to be broken for us. Elisabeth Elliott said; "God will not protect you from anything that will make you more like Jesus." I never thought it would be worth it, but it has been, because He is worth it. He took my broken, hurting heart and gave me His. He has redeemed every broken dream. He knows better than I do, I see now that He protected me from an unhealthy relationship, and I am thankful.
Singleness is such a gift. I know you've heard it before, but really, it's so true. This time of being totally focused on Jesus has been the best time of my life. I will have no regrets, because I have given it all to Him. I know that He is writing a story more beautiful than the one I had written for myself. And if you're hurting over a broken relationship, let me encourage you to give Jesus the pen to write your life story. No matter what mistakes you have made, He will redeem it all if you will surrender your heart to Him. I always heard that once you give a part of your heart away you can never get it back, and I get what that means but honestly, it's not true. Ezekiel 36:26 says; "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you." I've experienced the soul-cleansing, healing power of His love and redemption. I'm a much more complete, happier version of myself, even now. Even after being broken, I am made new.
You know how a lot of times little girls say they want to marry their daddy? Well, as we grow up and mature we begin to develop ideas of the character qualities we would like in a husband, and if you take time to really think about it, the more you fall in love with Jesus, the kind of guy you want starts to look a lot more like Him. Not a perfect guy, but someone who is just as in love with Jesus as we are, and loving us like Jesus does, and being the spiritual leader we need in our lives. So just like little girls want to marry someone like their daddy, we want to marry someone like our Heavenly Father. As you fall in love with Jesus, you start to see yourself the way the He sees you, loved and cherished and worth waiting for. Don't get impatient. Let God write your story, He has a plan for your life that is more beautiful than the dreams you have for yourself.
Never forget that you are loved. So very loved, and made complete in Him.
~Jordan
P.S. Email me with your prayer requests at; imforeverhisprincess.jc@gmail.com .
This almost made me cry. I would say that I am proud of you, but actually I am in awe of what Jesus has done in your life. Thank you for letting him, sweet girl. And thank you for being an encouragement, and example of what God can do with a broken, hopeless heart. Love you!
ReplyDeleteHe is so good. Thank you for being with me through this journey. I love you too!
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