I'm overjoyed to FINALLY be sharing Colton and I's story. I've been working on it for months, but just haven't finished it until now. We are in awe of the faithfulness of the Lord in this relationship and so thankful for how He has answered our deepest prayers, hopes and dreams with attention to even the very smallest details. Falling in love + getting engaged to this man has been the most magical and special season of my life. My reason for sharing our story is because we want to share how faithful God has been in the waiting season and how much He cares about the desires of our hearts. My hope is that it will be a blessing and an encouragement to you, in whatever season that you are in. Whether you're in a season of brokenness and feeling forgotten by God, an over-the-moon happy and joyful season, or somewhere in between, I pray that through our testimony of God's goodness, you will be reminded of His love for you, and just how much He cares about the details of your story. We feel so grateful for the kindness of the Lord, and how He has so richly blessed us far beyond our wildest dreams. And it's only the beginning...
The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes. ~Psalm 118:23
From the time I was a little girl I always loved fairy tales and princess movies. I’m a hopeless romantic, and though I went through seasons where I thought I would never marry, in the deepest parts of my heart I always dreamed of meeting my own prince charming and of what our love story would look like. At the age of 13 my daddy gave me a purity ring and I made a promise to the Lord that I would trust Him with my heart and let Him write my love story. I promised not to give parts of my heart, or my body away to any guy that was not going to be my husband, and to walk in purity as I waited for him. I wore that purity ring for 10 years, and did not take it off until my man got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. There were so many times throughout those 10 years that I remember looking at that ring and praying for my future husband. There were times that the waiting was hard. There were times when my emotions got tangled in a relationship that was unhealthy and I had to ask the Lord to protect my heart. Aside from one relationship when I was pretty young, I remained single. On purpose. Not because I had to, or because there weren’t any guys that asked me out, because there were. Lots of them. And I didn’t turn them down because I thought I was better than them, or because they weren’t nice guys (some of them really were). The reason I chose not to date is because I had prayed for so long for this man, and I just *knew* that when God brought him to me, that I would know. I knew that the type of man I was praying for was going to be so special that he deserved to have all there was to have of me; heart, body, and soul. I always had lots of guy friends, most of whom I am still friends with, but I never let any of them get beyond friendship. I fell so in love with Jesus during those single years, without the distraction of boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend. I will never regret the waiting. It was so worth it! The love story that God has been writing for me all along has been beautiful beyond my wildest dreams! I could not have made up a love story better than the one that I’m living right now, and it truly all began with falling in love with Jesus. God writes the best stories. He is so faithful, and He truly cares for the smallest details and desires of our hearts. This is our story…
For me, the story always begins the day my grandpa died. I was the only one with him when he took his last breath, and I remember laying across his chest; one hand in his, the other over his heart, feeling it until it stopped beating. As I laid there with him, looking out the widow, telling him stories, sharing my favorite memories and telling him how much I would miss him, I remember feeling heartbroken over the fact that he would never get to meet the man I would marry. Pops had promised to dance with me at my wedding and in that moment I knew that was a promise that he wouldn’t be able to keep. Pops was the one who sang along to Luke Bryan with me in the car and danced with me in my living room. He took me on road trips to the country to go to church on a Sunday morning and have Sunday dinner with relatives that we don’t see near enough. He took me fishing and would sit on the front porch with me in the morning while I was doing my devotions. He became like a second dad because he lived across the street and came over every day for 10 years. I am so thankful to the Lord for the sweet times and wonderful memories that we have with him.
I met Colton exactly a week after Pops died. My entire family had stayed home for most of the week because we were so emotional and could hardly bear to drive by his house, but some friends called and wanted my little brother and I to go to a football game with them in Seiling. The church that I attend is on the same campus as a school and so a lot of the kids in my youth group where I am a youth leader, also go to the school. Several of my youth boys had been asking me to come to this game, so I decided to get out of my pj’s and go with them. It was a two hour drive to the game and we talked and laughed most of the way. There were a few times that I remember looking out the window at the sunset and getting teary-eyed thinking about Pops, but for the most part it was a good distraction and helpful to get out of the house. We got to the game and sat down just in time, but it wasn’t very far into the first half before it began to rain. We were all sent into the gym to wait out the storm. It was in that gym, on a rainy Friday night, that I met the man that I would spend the rest of my life with. Looking back on that moment, I don’t know how I didn’t know it as soon as I met him. I was wearing a Luke Bryan T-shirt, and I was standing close enough to him that he saw it and said, “Hey, did you go to his concert when he was here a few months ago?” I said, “Yes.” And we got to talking about country music and all of our favorite songs and artists. He was sitting next to a girl, and I just assumed that they were dating. We never actually formally introduced ourselves, so I left that night not even knowing his name. I didn’t think about him again, but he went home and stalked my social media. He found my blog and read all of my posts and said to himself out loud, “I have to get to know this girl.” Coincidentally, or so I thought, we kept running into each other at football games and he’d come sit by me and talk to me. It took me weeks to stop looking for the girl that he’d been sitting next to that first night, because I just couldn’t imagine her being okay with him talking to me for the entire game. I never saw her, and for some reason I never asked him about her, but at some point in our conversation I said, “Your girlfriend…” and he said, “Oh, I’m not dating anyone.” I realized then, that I needed to be very careful because I was not looking for a relationship and I didn’t want him thinking that we were more than friends. For over a month we ran into each other at football games and at church (he’d always gone to first service and I’d always gone to second, so we’d never run into each other before), but I didn’t think anything of it. After our youth takeover service he messaged me on facebook to tell me to let my sister know that she’d done a great job speaking. He asked what I was doing and I told him that my keys were locked in my car at church and that I was trying to figure out how I was going to get them out. He told me that he’d call someone to come do it for me and that he was going to meet me there. I told him that I didn’t want to interrupt his Sunday and not to worry about it, because I would figure it out, but he was adamant that he was going to help. That was when he got my number. After that we talked constantly. He would call and talk to me for hours, and I was amazed at how much he talked for a guy. As I got to know him I realized that he was different from any guy I’d ever known. He was so thoughtful and kind. He treated me with such respect and gentleness. It was such a tender time for me because I was still hurting so much over my grandpa passing away. I was very emotional and cried easily, but he handled my emotions so well and truly cared about what I was feeling and what was going on in my heart. I’d always tried to hide what I was feeling and it was strange to feel so out of control of my emotions, and the fact that he spent so much time with me meant that he had to walk through much of the grieving process with me. I apologized to him so many times, and told him that I’m so sorry that he had to meet me at the very worst time. He said, “Jordan, I believe that God put me in your life at the perfect time, so that I could walk through this with you and help you through it. Don’t feel bad about being emotional, it would be unusual for you not to hurt over this.” We became very close, very fast, but I still didn’t have feelings for him yet. I was thankful for his friendship, but that’s all that I thought it was. I didn’t know that he had feelings for me that went beyond friendship, and I honestly hadn’t thought about it much.
A few weeks after we started hanging out, when he came over to my house for the first time, he’d asked me to teach him how to two-step. I told him that he could probably find someone better to teach him, but he said, “Nope, I don’t know anyone else that could do it, you’re the only one.” So despite how awkward it was, I decided that I could at least teach him the basics. We took our shoes off and stood on the living room rug while I explained to him the steps and where his hands were supposed to go. I then went to the tv and turned on Pandora, so we would have some music to dance to. As soon as I turned it on, the very first song that played was the last song that Pops and I had danced to, on this same living room rug just months before. My mom was sitting on the couch and we looked at each other for a couple of seconds, trying not to cry. The crazy thing is, that it was during this song that Pops had promised to dance with me at my wedding, and though I didn’t know it at the time, that very same song would be the one that would play when I danced with the man that I would marry, for the first time. The song is called “We Run This Town” by Luke Bryan, and I can’t ever listen to it without remembering that very special last dance, and also, the very special first dance that came 8 months later. It amazes me how God cares about the smallest details! People might say that it was a coincidence for the same song to play, and at the time, that’s what I thought too, but looking back, there is no question that God did that on purpose. Even when I didn’t know it He was at work bringing joy to things that had brought me pain. And somehow, I believe that Pops got to witness that moment from heaven.
Me & Pops
Colton & I dancing at a wedding 2 months after we started dating
On Thanksgiving morning we ran a 5k together, one that we’d trained for all month. We’d been meeting at the park around 7:30am and running a couple of miles a few times a week, afterwards we’d open the back hatch of my car and sit there and talk as the sun rose over the trees. I absolutely LOVE running, and I thought he loved it too! Turns out, he hates running, but he loved chasing me. Our friendship really grew during those conversations after our morning run. We talked about everything under the sun and I realized how much we had in common. We believed all of the same things. His love for the Lord and the way he trusted Him was something that was so evident in his life. We shared the hard parts of our stories, whispering the parts that hurt to tell. We were honest with each other from the beginning and never pretended to be someone different than who we were. There were times when he would look at me and I felt like he could see right into my soul. I’d never had someone look at me the way that he did. I couldn’t understand why I trusted him the way that I did, because trusting people does not come easy for me, but I trusted him with things I’d never told anyone. Looking back I’m so thankful for those deep, meaningful conversations. Our relationship was built on a foundation of trust that has brought such security as we moved forward. We continued to talk every day, and spent a lot of time together.
Our Thanksgiving Day race
Around Christmas-time he was over when my sister came to visit. She liked him immediately, and was quick to let us both know, not-so-quietly (in regular Kenzie fashion), that we were perfect for each other! She was laying on the living room floor doing homework while we watched movies and she paused in the middle of it and said, “You know what? You remind me of someone, but I just can’t figure out who it is.” And then a couple of minutes later, “I know, you remind me of Grandpa Lee! You have his same personality! Don’t be surprised if I randomly just come up and hug you sometimes, because he’s been gone for years and I miss him!” We all laughed, and then he said, “Well, my middle name is Lee, so I guess that makes sense.” My mom and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes and I had chills up and down my spine because what neither one of them knew was, that I had always told my grandma that I wanted to marry a man just like Grandpa Lee. He had passed away a couple of years before she did, and when I went to visit her we would sit on the couch together holding hands and she’d tell me stories about when they were young. He treated her like a queen and she looked at him like he hung the stars. They were still so in love even at 80 years old, and they’d sit in their chairs next to each other and hold hands while they watched t.v. After every story she told me on those afternoon visits, I’d say, “I want to marry a guy just like grandpa.” She’d look at me with sad eyes and pat my hand and say, “Well honey, you’re never going to find him. There’s no one like grandpa.” Even still, I prayed for a love like what they had. I prayed for a man that would sacrificially love me, and treat me like a queen the way that grandpa treated grandma; I prayed for my own Grandpa Lee, one who would want still want to hold my hand when we were 80. So when Colton said that his middle name was Lee, I felt something in my spirit. It was the first time that I thought that maybe he was the answer to every prayer I’d ever prayed for my future husband. That was when I began to pray that if Colton was the one for me that God would make it very clear to me, and to him, and that we wouldn’t get caught up in a relationship that wasn’t going to last, but that God would be honored every step of the way. I didn’t say anything to him, because I didn’t want to manipulate anything. I trusted that if this was God’s plan unfolding then He could accomplish it without any help from me.
For Christmas break Colton and his family went to Colorado for vacation. They were gone for a week, and it was the longest that Colton and I had gone without seeing each other since we met in September. I didn't think much of it, until I realized that I missed him. It almost bothered me that I felt that way, because I kept telling myself (and everyone else) that we were just friends and that I didn't have feelings for him. He called and talked to me several times, and we were still able to text some, but it just wasn't the same. When he got back the day after Christmas we spent the afternoon together, shopping and going to dinner. We ended up in Chickasha to look at the Christmas lights that evening, because we hadn't gotten a chance to go until then. We sat in the car listening to George Strait's Christmas album as we waited for the sun to go down. We talked about his trip and what we'd gotten for Christmas and then I told him that we needed to talk about where we were in our relationship. He agreed and I started by telling him that although I had been saying that we were just friends, I missed him while he was on vactation even though he was only gone for a week. I told him that we talked every day, and that most friends don't really do that. I told him that I felt like my heart was getting involved and that I felt like we either needed to move forward or that we needed to take a step back and not be as close as we had been. He said, "Jordan, I would be ready to date you right now. I've been ready for awhile, but I didn't want to rush you. I've been praying about this, and I really feel like God had led us up to this point and that things have fallen into place in ways that they wouldn't have if He wasn't orchestrating everything Himself. I'll be whatever you want me to be. If you want me to just be your friend, then I'll be your friend, but I'll be honest with you, I want to be more than your friend." I told him that I wasn't sure if I was in a place emotionally to be able to be in a relationship, I told him that I was still really struggling with my grandpa being gone and I felt so emotionally unstable. He said, "I think you're perfect." And I cried. We decided that because we truly felt that God was the one that had brought us together and had led us up until that point, with so many confirmations big, and small that we would move forward in our relationship and start dating. We walked around and looked at Christmas lights and spent the drive home talking about how we met and all the things that had led us to where we were. It was the sweetest night. We had no way of knowing that exactly ten months later we'd be getting engaged and planning the whole rest of our lives, but I knew when I got home that night that I would marry this man. Somewhere deep in my heart I knew that he was the one that I had waited for and prayed for all my life. And it was only the beginning...
The night we started dating
My sweet cousin, Emily, made a video for us at Christmas-time with pictures of Colton and I throughout our relationship. *Spoiler alert* There's a clip of our engagement video towards the end!
And some pictures just for fun!
"Life with you makes perfect sense. You're my best friend."
~ Tim McGraw
"He is the best thing that's ever been mine!" ~Taylor Swift
Thanks for reading!
The engagement pictures were taken by my best friend, Payton Wilson, @ Payton Marie Photography. You can check out her website here: www.paytonmarie.com.
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