Dreaming Big and Praying Hard

Something about fall makes me super sentimental.  I'm not sure if it's because we're getting so close to the end of the year or if it's watching the trees change and remembering that change is a part of life. I hate change.  Change makes me cry.  I don't like it when people grow up, or move away, or when family pets die.  I hate goodbyes, and I wish I could keep all of my people close forever.  But the fact of life is that friendships come and go and seasons are always changing.  Knowing that makes me enjoy life a little more, and try to be fully present every day.  I don't want to miss my own life because I'm crying over how things aren't how they should be, or how I want them to be.  It makes me hug my people a little tighter and say, "I love you" too many times, because those things matter.  I say what I think and try to put into words how I feel because life is too short to miss those opportunities to let someone know that they matter to you.

Life is too short not to dream big, do hard things, and visit places you've always wanted to go.

One of my dreams has been to visit Tennessee in the fall, and I did that this year.  I visited friends, went to the Smoky Mountains, toured downtown Nashville, Knoxville, and Atlanta.  I stayed with friends for a month and we stayed up late, got up early, sat outside by the fire, took roadtrips, went to the mall, out for coffee, to dinner and shopping.  We spent hours in deep conversation, cooked together, and got to know each other in person.  It's hard when you live several states away.  People I knew as acquaintances became like family on that trip and that alone was worth all the travel and delayed flights and teary-eyed  navigation through airports by myself.

If you've never seen the Smoky Mountains you should start planning your trip now.  The beauty of it took my breath away.  It made me feel small, in a good way, and reminded me that the God who created those mountains listens to my heart and adores me.  His love is big enough to cover the deepest hurt and bring clarity to the confusion of life.  Knowing that He is in control can make you brave in the midst of so many hard things that seem too overwhelming to walk though.  Sometimes all we need to know is that we're not alone, and for someone to hold our hand and say, "You're going to be okay".

One of my favorite books is, " The Circle Maker", by Mark Batterson.  It's about praying hard and dreaming big.  I try to read it at least once a year and it seems to change my life from the inside out every time.  My favorite quote from the book this year is, "If you're going to dream big, you have to manage the emotional tension.  Facing your fears is the beginning of the battle.  Then you have to circle them over and over again."

Don't give up on the dreams God has put in your heart.  Just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it never will.  Dream big, pray hard and love deeply.  Make the conscious choice to live unafriad.